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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27675773">It's not so bad, and I can't see at all</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drakojana/pseuds/%E3%82%AA%E3%83%93%E3%82%AB%E3%82%AB%E3%83%95%E3%82%A1%E3%83%83%E3%82%AB%E3%83%BC'>オビカカファッカー (Drakojana)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hokage Hatake Kakashi, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Smut, Uchiha Obito Lives, it's just a sex scene at the end</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:15:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,388</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27675773</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drakojana/pseuds/%E3%82%AA%E3%83%93%E3%82%AB%E3%82%AB%E3%83%95%E3%82%A1%E3%83%83%E3%82%AB%E3%83%BC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The war ends and Obito needs to pay for his crimes. Kakashi can't let go of his feelings, though. Obito thinks he's undeserving of it all. Perhaps the other Kages have a point. He should be dead.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>247</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Favorite ObiKaka Stories</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's not so bad, and I can't see at all</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I tried a bit different style in this fic. Please enjoy!</p><p>-</p><p>
  <a href="https://www.wattpad.com/story/249917559-it%27s-not-so-bad-and-i-can%27t-see-at-all-obkk">This fic got translated into Spanish on Wattpad!</a>
</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“This is pointless,” are Obito’s first words as Kakashi lays out the entire idea.</p><p>He can’t see through the thick fabric with seals scribbled on it over his eyes and his mouth is normally obstructed with stripes of protective cloth as well. The prisoner is all chained up and guarded by at least two ANBU at all times, and when the Hokage is visiting, another is by his side. He is a dangerous war criminal, after all. Responsible for so many deaths. </p><p>“I can’t believe you’re even suggesting such an outrageous solution.” His voice doesn’t carry the anger his words should, though. It’s been empty for so long, used only when Lord Sixth decides to visit his heavily guarded cell.</p><p>Kakashi tilts his head and closes his eye in a polite smile. He wishes he could see what kind of expression Obito’s making. His heart aches at those words and perhaps the prisoner’s face would ease his worries that it’s not all for nothing. </p><p>“You deserve a second chance,” he replies. “You’ve helped stop the war, after all.”</p><p>“I started it in the first place.” </p><p>The silence that falls between them is unbearable. Kakashi doesn’t want to talk to Obito like that. He just wants their conversations to be full of laughter and bickering again. He wants to scold Obito for the silly things and hear half-hearted insults in response. It’s the kid inside of him that never quite got to live out his childhood. Those dreams are most likely impossible now. </p><p>“I’ll keep an eye on you,” he says and can feel the ANBU behind him shift with uneasiness and silent disagreement. The Hokage has other duties, they’ll definitely tell him. The Hokage does not have time to supervise criminals.</p><p>But the Hokage also has the final say in how the village operates and who’s kept where. Kakashi will just have to convince everyone he knows what he’s doing. Even when he hasn’t received the answers from the other Kages on his latest decision yet.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing Obito does when the handcuffs and seals are taken off him is just rubbing his wrists. There’s still a frown on his face and Kakashi worries it might be permanent now. But it’s so different from the scowl that he’s worn during the war. His eyes are soft and looking somewhere the silver-haired man can’t exactly follow. </p><p>It’s a lot of faith to put in the Uchiha to let him keep his eyes, was one of the pieces of advice Kakashi had heard as he finished the necessary paperwork for moving the prisoner. Other people said to never let him see the light of day again considering his Mangekyo Sharingan. The Sixth Hokage disregarded them all in the end. </p><p>He watches Obito who slowly takes in the interior of the Hokage Mansion. It’s mostly bare and simple, much like Kakashi’s old apartment. The last living Hatake doesn’t have a lot of keepsakes, after all. He’s always kept his living space simple. Less to clean up, less to remind him of his failures and regrets. </p><p>“You’re making a mistake,” Obito finally comments. He crosses his arms and stands in the middle of the hallway with his back turned to Kakashi. “You’re going to let me live here?”</p><p>“You’re still serving your sentence. Does it matter where?”</p><p>“None of the barriers can stop me from using Kamui.” He glances over his right shoulder and glares at the Hokage with his Sharingan. “You do know that, don’t you?”</p><p>“Do you want to escape?” Kakashi retorts, already knowing the answer. “If you wanted to, you would’ve done it long ago.”</p><p>“It’s not like I have anywhere to go,” Obito mutters. “They all want my head and you’re still keeping me alive.”</p><p>The way Obito speaks about his own life sounds so inhuman. Like he’s a thing meant to be destroyed after everyone’s upset with his existence. Kakashi’s heart tightens and he swallows hard. The anxiety is coming back just as he’s managed to fight it off. It can never truly leave, not when he thinks about seeing Obito’s face every day now.</p><p>“The other Kages don’t have to know. But if you do escape, I will be forced to inform them and all the nations will be hunting you down.”</p><p>The Hatake silently prays Obito never leaves. He knows he won’t be able to write such a request. He’d rather be punished instead. He’s avoided serving the sentence for being a friend-killer and a disappointment of a child for too long.</p><p>The Uchiha turned his head away and his tone was indecipherable with the next sentence. “Should’ve let me die long ago.”</p><p>Kakashi can’t do that. He’s already witnessed Obito’s death once. The world can’t demand it from him to see it again. He silently follows the prisoner as he continues sightseeing the house.</p><p> </p><p>The first night is the worst, Kakashi thinks as he stares at the clock on the bedside table. He can’t see whether it’s two or three in the morning with the blurry eyes. But the Moon is still high up in the night sky and rays of its shine illuminate the floorboards by the window. </p><p>The Hatake turns to his other side and feels the pillow is wet with his tears there as well. He should flip it over to finally rest his head on a dry spot but he knows he won’t stop the crying anytime soon. He can’t sleep like this. </p><p>Obito’s assigned bedroom is right next to his, there’s just a thin partition wall between them. If he doesn’t need to sleep with his patchwork body anymore then perhaps he hears every sob Kakashi so desperately tries to stifle with his hand. </p><p>He should’ve stopped his crying long ago. He shouldn’t be able to shed tears anymore. Yet here he is, doing what he’s somehow managed to suppress for years. During the day, when Kakashi’s surrounded by his advisors and subordinates, he keeps it together. But perhaps it’s because he doesn’t see Obito’s face then.</p><p>The silver-haired man wonders just how late he can stay at the Hokage tower on the next day. He’s left quite a bit of paperwork but it’s nowhere near an all-nighter worth. Unless something happens and there are sudden approvals, missions or modifications to be issued.</p><p>But on the other hand, he doesn’t know if he wants to avoid Obito. If he even can do that. He’s taken the role of being his new warden and that’s what he should do - keep an eye on him. </p><p>Kakashi turns around again, finds a somewhat dry spot on the pillow to rest his cheek on and closes his eyes. He won’t distract himself anymore, perhaps the feelings will fade and let him sleep now.</p><p> </p><p>It’s the fifth day of Obito being in the Hokage Mansion when he’s finally fed up with the host’s nocturnal sobbing, it seems. Kakashi’s almost surprised he’s managed to stay quiet for long enough. He’s even more surprised that he himself hasn’t broken down in front of Obito yet. </p><p>Every morning they just exchange glances in the kitchen or on the corridor. The Uchiha mutters a quiet ‘good morning’ and Kakashi tries to say something in response. His throat feels tight but words still manage to leave his mouth. He tells himself that he just needs to get out of the house. </p><p>There are always at least three ANBU agents watching the Hokage Mansion like hawks at all times. The silver-haired man tends to pardon one of them when he’s back since he’s the one whose duty it is to watch the prisoner. But should Obito try doing something, they will notify Kakashi immediately. He could try staying out of the house for longer than a day but he’s not sure he should risk it. </p><p>He’d be making someone else shoulder his responsibilities and problems. So he comes home every night either way. And he holds the pillow to his face as he sits up on the bed and muffles his crying. He’s failing everyone. Especially Obito. He sees it in the way the Uchiha looks at him - it’s not the hatred or disdain he’d given him during the war anymore but there’s sadness behind his eyes now. </p><p>Kakashi doesn’t hear the door open to his bedroom. It’s a silent creak of the hinges so easily drowned out by his wails. When he’s lost in the pool of his own regrets, he barely hears anything. Sometimes it happens in the office but he manages to make people not mind him. He can smile and fake it, they never see his full expression, after all. </p><p>There’s nothing to smile about when his eyes meet Obito’s, however.</p><p>“What’s going on?” The Uchiha says in his raspy, unused but real voice. He’s standing in the doorway with one hand on the knob, the other on the frame. </p><p>The silver-haired man wipes his eyes instinctively, even though it does nothing to improve his visage. His cheeks are red from the salty tears anyway. There’s nothing to hide in the dark of the night, with the bits of moonshine illuminating his naked face. </p><p>And once more he sees the pained expression Obito makes whenever they look at one another. It’s pity, Kakashi wants to name it, or disappointment. His mind screams it’s something much worse. He’s not ready to face it yet. He’s a coward drowning in past mistakes but that hatred is all he knows.</p><p>“Leave,” he says after a pregnant pause. “Please,” he adds when Obito doesn’t move.</p><p>It’s probably his tearful voice and continuous sniffling that makes the Uchiha hesitate before pulling the door close. Kakashi thinks even worse of himself that night. Because now he’s sure Obito has heard it all. As if he hasn’t had it up to here with Kakashi’s low self-esteem before the war.</p><p> </p><p>The silver-haired man almost manages to escape Obito’s questions the next day. Almost, because it’s not the dead-last and always late kid he’s used to know anymore. The adult Obito is more fitting of his clan’s name. Quieter, punctual, his eyes narrowed in a cold gaze. </p><p>Kakashi finds him already waiting in the kitchen. The dark eyes dig into his skull as soon as he walks into his field of view. There’s a silence between them interrupted only by the clinking of the dishes as the silver-haired man grabs a cup and prepares coffee for himself. He’d offer Obito some as well but he did catch a glimpse of a steaming beverage between his hands before. </p><p>He swallows thickly as he can feel the gaze on him, stripping him of everything until there’s nothing left. Kakashi thinks if it’s some kind of a challenge, who breaks the silence first. The morning feels different than the previous ones. The quiet agreement to ignore the tension is now void, it can’t go on after Obito’s intrusion. The only question left is when they’re going to talk about it.</p><p>“How do you feel?” The Uchiha finally says, fed up with the lack of conversation. He doesn’t specify what he means but Kakashi just knows it’s not about his health or whether he’s simply slept well.</p><p>“As always,” he responds and it’s not exactly a lie. The reasons have changed but he’s never felt better, anyway. </p><p>“Don’t overwork yourself.” </p><p>Kakashi turns around because he can’t trust the voice alone. But Obito does look at him with worry. It’s that hurtful expression again, that wants to apologise and say something else but he can’t. </p><p>“I’m the Hokage,” he just replies. The argument should have nothing to do with it all but he damns it. “It’s my duty.”</p><p>It’s also his duty to treat Obito as a prisoner, he reminds himself. And it’s not his duty to work until late hours pretending to catch up with all the assignments and orders left after the war. He chooses to ignore that as he waves the Uchiha goodbye, not even finishing his coffee. </p><p> </p><p>It’s not even a full week of sharing the house with Obito and Kakashi’s breaking at every seam. He doesn’t want to repeat the night before so when a particularly loud sob rips out of him, he jumps off the bed and hurries to the bathroom. He thinks he catches sight of Obito leaving his room but manages to shut the door in time. He doesn’t need to see that sad expression anymore.</p><p>Kakashi looks at the shower. It would feel nice to have warm water run his back now, maybe it would even help him relax. But he’s not in the mood for washing, he just grabs the shower head and tosses it to the floor. The water starts running and he hopes it’s loud enough to drown out his own sounds.</p><p>He sits on the floor and wonders for the who-knows-which time where he made the mistake. The way Obito looks at him, he can’t deal with it like that. The Uchiha never says it but Kakashi is pretty sure he hates him. Obito could be serving his sentence in a prison cell, unbothered by anyone. He could be kept in one spot, unmoving, unable to see the world. Kakashi used to think it was cruel but now he wonders if it wasn’t Obito’s preferred punishment. </p><p>He had silence, loneliness and peace. Kakashi took it all away from him for selfish reasons. It’s only natural Obito must hate him now. The silver-haired man wonders how long he can keep up the lie it’s just the Hokage duties tiring him. But he knows it’s more than that. In fact, being the Hokage seems to be the least of his worries - or regrets if he calls them by the proper name.</p><p>He’s never healed or moved on from all the failures and losses in his life but he’s managed to bottle it all up before the war. Kakashi was the master of hiding the pain behind a smile and jokes. All he needed was a visit at the Memorial Stone and a few hours of contemplating the ghosts haunting him. He was good at it, too - none of his students knew just how much he could conceal under the light-hearted attitude.</p><p>Then came the Great Fourth Shinobi War and everything was flipped upside-down. The ghosts were alive once more and the silver-haired man was forced to face it all. Obito was alive and he seethed with hatred for the world. The perfect image of the kid Kakashi has devoted years to was shattered. Obito tore a new hole in his heart, reminded him of Rin, of the broken promises. The wound that never healed was ripped open and left to bleed once more.</p><p>Kakashi had the chance to execute him and end it all, somehow save that illusion of the past. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t imagine himself winning against Obito anymore. Perhaps a part of him did wish him success. Or it was the part of him that wouldn’t accept the Uchiha dying again. </p><p>Tears are running down his face and he doesn’t bother wiping them. With the door locked he’s not risking being seen in such an unsightly way again. He’s carried the burden for years without crying, it feels liberating and good in a way to do it now. With the shower making noise he lets himself sob loudly, not stifling anything anymore. </p><p>It’s the feeling of uselessness that takes over whenever he thinks back to the war. Especially when they faced Kaguya, Kakashi truly felt like he was a mere mortal among the gods. There was nothing special to his powers. His Chakra reserves were nowhere near enough. In the end, he could just stand back and let others lead the fight. </p><p>And after everything, he was the one Tsunade tossed the Hokage hat to. It wasn’t his dream. It wasn’t his achievements. It wasn’t his place. But he accepted it like he accepted everything in his life and carried all the burdens of the world. </p><p>Kakashi doesn’t know how long it takes him to run out of tears for the night. His eyes hurt and eyelids feel heavy. His back aches from leaning against the tiled wall, too. He sighs and holds onto the sink as he slowly raises from the floor. He’s used to getting lost in his thoughts and can only hope it’s not dawning yet so he can get at least an hour of sleep. Wouldn’t want to worry Shizune or Iruka again. </p><p>The sight that he’s met with in the mirror is the worst he’s ever seen. It reminds him of the time when he kept dreaming of Rin, of her bloody grimace and hateful voice. But even then his eyes weren’t this red. The silver-haired man wonders just how much the crying deepened his eyebags. </p><p>He splashes his face with cold water and realises the shower is still running. Kakashi’s sure if Obito is listening in he must know at this point that the water is just background noise. Crying in the bathroom was a bad choice given how the voice can bounce off the walls here. Kakashi turns everything off, dries his face with a towel for a bit too long and finally puts his hand on the doorknob.</p><p>He gulps and prays Obito’s actually asleep. If he can sleep with someone like Kakashi sharing the house, that is. The silver-haired man turns the lock slowly, quietly, and yet the click sounds like the loudest possible noise in the silent mansion. His heart beats a bit too fast and he wants to laugh at how anxiety can get to even the most experienced of shinobi. </p><p>Kakashi opens the door and gasps as he sees Obito right there in front of him. Their gazes meet and the Hatake wants to scream when it’s those sad eyes again. They look tired and in a way mirror his own. </p><p>There’s a silence between them as neither of them moves. Kakashi can’t escape just yet so he can just look at the Uchiha. At his barely illuminated face, the scars and dark eyes, the snow-white hair that doesn’t grow out yet. Kakashi wonders if it will ever go back to the jet black colour. </p><p>“I’ve heard it all,” is what Obito finally says. He seems to be the one breaking the silence between them lately. “Every night I hear you cry, Kakashi.”</p><p>If his face wasn’t red from all the tears, the silver-haired man feels he would blush in shame. How unbecoming of him, the Sixth Hokage. And it’s the war criminal pointing it out out of all people. <em> He’s your friend</em>, something whispers, reminding him that there are more reasons for Kakashi not wanting to look like this in front of Obito.</p><p>The Uchiha studies his expression and possibly notices the misunderstanding forming in his mind. His hands land on Kakashi’s shoulders and the Hatake stumbles forward as he’s pulled towards him.</p><p>“Stop hiding from me,” Obito whispers when his arms fully embrace him. “I can’t take it anymore.”</p><p>Kakashi wants to push him away but only for a moment when he braces his hands against Obito’s chest. And then all the strength he has in his arms falls away and he accepts the hug. He doesn’t have any more tears to shed for the night, though, perhaps for the better.</p><p>He tangles his hands into the violet robe the Uchiha is wearing and rests his tired head against his shoulder. Kakashi doesn’t dare to think how long it’s been since he’s been held by someone like this. He can’t feel the hate in Obito’s touch and questions if there was any in the first place. But the sad look in his eyes had to be true and so his mind wanders in a quest to find the reason for it. </p><p>“You need to sleep,” Obito adds when Kakashi leans on him a bit too much, even his legs giving out. </p><p>His hands slide off his back but he holds Kakashi’s hand in his and leads him towards the bedroom. The Hatake’s tired mind can’t perceive him as a prisoner at the moment, just thinking of how much he’s wanted any kind of closeness from him for years. But all this time it was a foolish hope for something that couldn’t be real. Now Obito is here and although his half-lidded eyes don’t look kind, his hand feels warm and safe. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll watch over you to make sure you get good sleep.”</p><p>Kakashi gets out of the bed as soon as he opens his eyes. Obito is still there and he gives him an unsure look as he sits up on the mattress. Just as he’s promised, he stayed in Kakashi’s bedroom for the entire night. The silver-haired man didn’t protest when he was made to rest his head against the Uchiha’s chest. One arm was wrapped around his midsection and he soon fell asleep.</p><p>But now he can’t bring himself to look at Obito. It was one night of weakness and he bites down on his bottom lip, promising silently not to repeat that. He doesn’t even regard the fact he didn’t wear his signature face mask. But Obito is the only person that can take a good look at his face, Kakashi thinks. </p><p>He hurries out of the room to the bathroom. He needs to clear his head and at least try to look somewhat presentable. He wonders if he can get away without entering the kitchen at all. But as he finishes brushing his teeth he chastises such stupid thoughts. He can’t keep skipping breakfast like that.</p><p>Obito seems to share the sentiment because as Kakashi walks downstairs he notices him standing in the hallway. It comes to him as naturally as breathing as he opens his mouth.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” leaves his mouth and he can’t meet Obito’s eyes just yet. He’s not sure what the apology is for because he’s too used to saying that whenever he thinks of him.</p><p>Before he can open a cupboard to get anything, Obito grabs his wrist and lowers Kakashi’s arm.</p><p>“Sit down. I’ll make you some coffee.”</p><p>The silver-haired man takes a step back and mulls over the tone of Obito’s voice. It’s not as hostile as he’s expected. Perhaps it’s even gentle, just as gentle as his touch was the night before. Kakashi shakes his head, he doesn’t think he deserves it. Or that it’s even appropriate. But he does pull up a chair and heavily sits down. </p><p>“I’m the worst warden in existence,” he lets out a chuckle that sounds more pathetic than he’d like. “My own prisoner is comforting me.”</p><p>Obito doesn’t comment and Kakashi isn’t surprised. He wouldn’t grace such self-pity with a single word either if he was him. The silver-haired man decides to watch him and only then he notices the cleaned dishes drying beside the sink. He didn’t clean a single of the coffee cups for the past week and realises it had to be Obito keeping the kitchen clean. He hangs his head low thinking how ungrateful he must be for not thanking him even once. </p><p>The sound of a cup being slammed down on the table makes him look up. The Uchiha sits down on the opposite chair and glares at him with an unidentifiable emotion.</p><p>“You need to stop hiding. This is your house.” </p><p>“It’s the Hokage Mansion,” Kakashi corrects him. He’s not sure why. But he knows he’s tried to feel at home for the past year and he couldn’t. </p><p>“If we’re to live here together, you can’t hide the pain anymore.”</p><p>The silver-haired man takes the cup into his hand and stares into the dark steaming liquid. Hiding is what he’s done his entire life and what he does best. He’s familiar with it, no one’s ever told him to do otherwise. </p><p>Obito’s eyes are trained on him and his eyebrows are drawn together. But it’s not exactly a scowl, his mouth makes a perfect line. </p><p>“And do what?” Kakashi takes a sip and keeps swirling the liquid. “I’m sorry you had to see that. I don’t want to bother you.”</p><p>“I don’t want to hear your apologies anymore.” Obito clicks his tongue. So disapproval is the first tone he uses for the day. “Just tell me what’s wrong.”</p><p>And Kakashi knows he would instantly confess to all his worries, was it five years ago. But ever since he put on the Hokage hat for the first time, he’s got better at keeping silent. No one needs to know the strongest shinobi in the village has very human issues and emotions too. Although Obito does and Kakashi isn’t sure how long he can keep the silence now.</p><p>The Uchiha knows he’s stalling for time because he narrows his eyes and the expression reminds Kakashi of the disregarding looks he sent him during the war. The only difference is that Obito isn’t calling him trash now. Not yet.</p><p>“Is this your best bet? Keeping quiet?”</p><p>The silver-haired man doesn’t meet his eyes anymore and hides behind the cup and his own hands. He wonders just when Obito became so talkative again, especially about Kakashi’s feelings. Naruto’s way of talking must’ve got to him. </p><p>“Fine,” Obito huffs after another minute of silence. “But I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere. You can’t avoid it forever.”</p><p>He doesn’t say what exactly he’s waiting for. It can be both a warning and a reassurance. Kakashi doesn’t know what he takes it as. He sets down the mug and gets up without a word. </p><p>“I need to go. Hokage duties are calling,” he only says when he’s about to open the front door. </p><p>Obito’s eyes haven’t left him yet. They judge him, await an answer. They demand Kakashi be serious. The silver-haired man can only think about the best way to sign the paperwork as slowly as possible.</p><p>“Time to go and suck at being the Hokage, too,” he adds before shutting the door.</p><p> </p><p>It’s nearing midnight when one of the ANBU tasked with guarding the Hokage Tower stands before Kakashi’s desk. He’s been trying to fight off the impending drowsiness for the past hour and he’s got a red imprint under the mask from resting his face on his hand.</p><p>“Lord Sixth, I think it’s enough,” the voice belongs to Genma and Kakashi just waves it off. “It’s time for you to go home.”</p><p>“The Kages’ letters, haven’t answered those yet…” he slurs his words. Somehow reading through documents makes him more sleepy than reading Icha Icha. He can’t pull all-nighters with this.</p><p>The image of his bed briefly pops up in his mind. He smiles lazily thinking about the comfort of the pillows and covers. It doesn’t go unnoticed.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. You can do it tomorrow, I’ve watched you put these aside for the past five hours. It’s not going anywhere.”</p><p>Genma’s words cause a flashback of the morning to run through his head. Kakashi remembers just why exactly he’s been trying to stay in the office for as long as possible. </p><p>“Neither is he,” he mumbles even though the response isn’t meant for anyone.</p><p>His head slips off the hand and Kakashi manages to sit back up just in time before his forehead hits the desk. He finally stares at the ANBU in front of him with wide, yet absent eyes. </p><p>“Go home, Kakashi,” Genma repeats. No titles or honorifics. Just friendly advice. </p><p>The silver-haired man sighs and realises he has to at least get up from the chair because Genma won’t leave until he sees him leave first. He casts one last glance to the four letters on the edge of the desk. Oonoki’s sharp penmanship stings his half-lidded eyes from the top of the pile. Kakashi chooses not to recall the contents when his eyesight is already so blurry.</p><p>“Maa, goodnight then,” he throws Genma a wave as he heads towards the door. He’s got neither the strength nor desire for a nightly walk but he hopes he can buy some more time before reaching the Hokage Mansion.</p><p>Konoha’s an entirely different place at night. When most of the residents are asleep it’s easy to forget just how bustling with life the village is once the sun rises. The nightly breeze rustles the leaves of the oak trees growing along the alley. The wind ruffles Kakashi’s hair a bit, too. He welcomes it, it helps him cool his head. </p><p>The silver-haired man can’t escape the thoughts of the man waiting for him back home. The prisoner he doesn’t want to watch over but also the friend he can’t imagine letting go of. Kakashi tries to guess just how much hate Obito is going to feel towards him today. He didn’t mention coming home late, after all. But on the other hand, he didn’t ask him to wait.</p><p>Kakashi realises he’s hoping for Obito to be still awake - or at least still downstairs - at this hour. Because maybe at the end of the day, he does want to see his face. He wants to confirm he’s still there. Still alive. Even if condemned as a war criminal, Kakashi just wants to know it’s not a dream and Obito hasn’t died yet. The hope he’s been given the second the mask was shattered during the war keeps him going even now. </p><p>He doesn’t even notice as he picks up the pace and takes faster strides towards the Mansion. It’s not that he’s ready to talk to Obito, not yet. But he did sleep well for the first time in a week. Kakashi wonders if he can hope for it to happen again. His heart flutters at the thought.</p><p>He halts as he reaches for the door, though. The silver-haired man stops, standing on the carefully paved, ornamental stone path. He realises his hopes are foolish, after all. The letters he’s left on the desk reminded him that in the end, he’s the only one who wants Obito still alive. The shadow of a smile that’s started to form on his lips vanishes. The heavy tiredness of the day weighs on his shoulders once more. </p><p>Kakashi pushes the doors open. Obito’s standing at the end of the hallway, right in front of the stairs. That one part of Kakashi is happy for a moment that he did wait, in the end. He wonders if he should apologise for coming home so late but remembers how the Uchiha refused to hear his sorry’s in the morning. The frown on his face only deepens. He says nothing.</p><p>It doesn’t go unnoticed. Obito takes a few steps towards Kakashi and the silver-haired man pretends taking off his shoes is the most important task at the moment just to avoid looking at him.</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>Once again, he doesn’t specify what he’s asking for. Kakashi can interpret the question however he wants, and yet his heart clenches as it picks the most difficult option. It’s the Uchiha’s voice that doesn’t help either. It’s soft and quiet like he’s talking to a skittish animal.</p><p>Kakashi takes a slow, deep breath. He just needs to keep it together for a few more minutes. His eyes don’t sting yet but he knows it’s only because he hasn’t looked Obito in the eyes yet. </p><p>He does, eventually, and something in him breaks just like it breaks every night. All this time he’s been trying to pin a different name to the narrowed eyes, to the soft gaze, to the gentle glint that wouldn’t be graced upon anyone else. </p><p>Of course, it’s not hate. Kakashi thinks he’s an idiot for ever trying to call it like that. His throat feels tight and he can’t answer. His heart beats a bit faster now. He clenches the hands hanging at his sides into fists and they feel clammy. </p><p>Obito’s looking at him with worry.</p><p>The man who’s betrayed the village, who aided the slaughter of his clan, who unleashed the Kyuubi and is responsible for the death of the Fourth Hokage, the same man who’s declared the Great Fourth Shinobi War and who showed no remorse while murdering people opposing him, is looking at him with worry.</p><p>And the list could go on and on and it does in Kakashi’s mind. He can’t stop it as every single one of the Uchiha’s offences are recited in his mind. The four letters just had to remind him of them all. </p><p>It’s not the first time the other Kage have reminded him of Obito’s crimes either. They regularly make sure to list all the reasons they want his head on a silver platter. And Kakashi can’t find the reasons to defend his rights anymore. He still hasn’t mentioned the Uchiha is out of the prison.</p><p>The silver-haired man shakes his head when he feels his tired eyes begin to tear up. He hides his face in his hands and realises it’s probably the worst way to answer Obito’s question.</p><p>The entire world wants Obito dead. And Kakashi can’t find the words to tell them he can’t bear to witness him die again. He’s pretty sure no one would listen, anyway. So he just cries. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Obito softly sighs as he closes the distance between them and gently wraps his arms around Kakashi’s waist. The sight of his friend, now the Sixth Hokage, crying every night is breaking something in him. Maybe not his heart because he’s pretty sure he doesn’t have one anymore. But his chest feels weirdly tight as he sees the tears in Kakashi’s eyes.</p><p>He wants to tell him to stop. He can tell by the way the Hatake looks at him that one way or another, at the bottom of Kakashi’s worries, it’s all about Obito. He’s the reason for Kakashi’s ruined mood every evening. It’s his presence in the house that weighs on him.</p><p>He’s not worth the tears. But he doesn’t comment on it, not yet. Perhaps he wishes the other would admit it first. The lies Kakashi gives him every time he asks, though, are sickening. Neither of them believes his words anymore.</p><p>So Obito spends his days finding fake reasons for the Hatake’s tears. He doesn’t want to think about the fact it’s all him. But he has too much time and there are too little things that can actually bother Kakashi. Even if he wants to blame the Hokage duties he knows just how much Kakashi loves the village and how much he’s devoted himself to it. There is no way he’d ever hate it. It might be tiring but currently, it’s the best escape from Kakashi’s real problems. </p><p>“Why…?” It slips out of his mouth when the Hatake pulls himself closer. For someone who avoids Obito so much, he likes to cling onto him when he gets the chance. </p><p>There’s no specific thing he wants to ask about. It can be about the reason for him crying in his arms. It can be about the late hour. It can be about Kakashi’s low self-esteem. </p><p>It can also be about Obito being still alive. Because he knows the ultimate sentence hanging above his head and he knows Kakashi is the last person sparing him from death. And the Uchiha knows he deserves to die. Keeping him alive, even giving him such a taste of freedom, is unacceptable. But no one stands above the Hokage’s authority. It’s hurting him and no one can stop him.</p><p>“I can’t,” Kakashi whispers. “I don’t know what to tell them anymore.”</p><p>“Then don’t say anything,” he ponders on his next words. Kakashi’s tears are soaking the fabric on his shoulder. “Just let go of it.”</p><p>He tenses up when he slowly realises just what exactly he’s implying. Obito knows he can’t just pretend to be ignorant of Kakashi’s feelings. Not when he’s spent years listening to his intimate confessions at the Memorial Stone or in the quiet of Kakashi’s apartment. </p><p>They’ve never talked about it. It’s been an entire year since the war and they haven’t touched on the subject. Perhaps because neither of them openly acknowledged it in the heat of the battle. And because they hardly talked about the feelings after that. The only emotions Obito could yell about were hatred, regrets and promises of fake happiness. </p><p>Kakashi pushes himself away and his gaze wanders to the floor. He just shakes his head in response. Obito bites his bottom lip and wants to scream at himself for ever suggesting such a thing. He just wants the Hatake to stop crying for him. It hurts them both.</p><p>“It’ll be easier if you forget about me.” He wants to justify his previous words but only makes it worse.</p><p>“Do you really think I can do that…?” Kakashi’s hushed tone sounds dangerous. “I waste everything I have… Because it’s impossible, why can’t you understand…?”</p><p>Obito’s the one who avoids the Hatake’s eyes now. It’s shameful to make such a suggestion knowing everything. He knows Kakashi can’t let go of his feelings. He just wants to help him soothe the pain. And if he’s the source of it, then it’s the only logical conclusion.</p><p>Kakashi excuses himself and walks past him, straight towards his bedroom. Obito’s left alone as he listens to the heavy footsteps ascending the stairs and then the door be slammed shut. The Hatake will surely continue crying in the confines of his room. Obito quietly goes to his and pretends he doesn’t hear the sobbing as he passes by the other’s bedroom.</p><p> </p><p>He deserves to die. That’s what Obito thinks. The fact that he did help end the war and fought off Kaguya alongside the village’s heroes doesn’t change his sentence. No amount of good deeds can erase his crimes or make up for the deaths he’s caused. </p><p>But he can’t tell Kakashi that. Obito understands it’s not his choice to make. Both as a prisoner and… a friend. If the Hokage’s decision is for him to serve the sentence by simply living with him and never leaving the premises of the Mansion, then he can’t protest. But even here the loneliness is getting to him. Even more than back in the prison.</p><p>In the solitary cell, Obito knew what to expect. Silence interrupted by the occasional rattle of the metal doors. Stiff air of the room with no windows. Tight embrace of all the chains, locks and seals. He could get used to it and let the days blur. </p><p>In the Hokage Mansion, Obito started to feel lonely in a new kind of way. It’s unwelcome and uneasy, knowing it’s deliberate. Kakashi came to visit him in prison when he wanted to. Here, he’s forced to meet him every single day. So knowing that the Hatake is staying away from him hurts. It’s the only part of his punishment that makes something in him ache.</p><p>Perhaps it would be easier for them both to just get over with it and let Obito die. Satisfy the Kages’ numerous demands, ease the hearts of the villagers, assure the shinobi in all nations that the war criminal is dead. But he knows, better than anyone, just why it can’t happen.</p><p>Obito does deserve to die. But even more so, he thinks Kakashi doesn’t deserve to see him die. Not again. He’s already alone in every single way and the Uchiha sees it so well. No one sees the Hatake for who he really is. No one knows about all the heartaches he carries within. No one hears him cry. Everyone in the village is only familiar with the idea of Hatake Kakashi, a legendary ninja known across all the shinobi nations. Hardly anyone sees him for the person he truly is.</p><p>And now that they live so closely - in one building but not quite together - Obito is still finding out new things about Kakashi. His weaknesses and daily rituals, although the nocturnal weeping is a recent addition. The Uchiha knows it’s for him but he refuses to accept it. He’s not worth it. He hates it. He hates the tears in Kakashi’s eyes. </p><p>But he understands that he needs to push that hate away. For his sake. He can’t ask Kakashi to give him the death he deserves. One of them needs to stay strong, and so he does. He holds Kakashi softly in his arms and lets him cry on his shoulder. He visits his bedroom and asks him how he feels. It’s those small things that make something glint in the Hatake’s eyes - almost as if life’s coming back to them. </p><p>If Obito was gone, Kakashi’s eyes would forever lose their shine. That much he’s aware of. His death would crush him and so Obito can only take a deep breath and leave it for another day. He decides he doesn’t want to die just yet. Perhaps, he hopes, there is a way to bring a smile back to his face. </p><p>Kakashi did confess his feelings to him, although never to his face. But Obito has heard it all. He wants the Hatake to find happiness with someone new and heal his wounded heart. The treacherous memories repeating his words in Obito’s mind tell him that Kakashi can’t be happy without him, however.</p><p>Still, he tries asking Kakashi once. “Why don’t you try finding someone new?” And it’s the way the question is formed that’s already all wrong. <em> Someone new</em>, like they’ve been together already.</p><p>It hurts Obito to even suggest that because that envious, sly, evil part of him will never let go of him and wants Kakashi to stay alone forever. </p><p>What’s even worse is the time he chooses to ask. He managed to stay sitting on his bed for only ten minutes throughout the Hatake’s quiet sobs before marching over to the door and rapping on it. Which lead him to the current state of cradling Kakashi in his arms until he’s stopped shivering. </p><p>The tears haven’t dried yet on his face and the look he gives Obito is utterly broken. His hold on Obito’s clothes tightens, the fingers dig into the fabric and flesh underneath in desperation. His voice is dead in his throat and the Uchiha reads the words from his lips more than he hears.</p><p>“There’s no way I can do that.”</p><p>“I’m not worth your tears,” he responds to that immediately. The thought has been lingering on his mind for the whole two weeks of his stay. “You deserve better.”</p><p>By better, he doesn’t mean his death, at least not anymore. But if he can’t bring a smile to Kakashi’s face, Obito wishes someone else could.</p><p>The rest of the night is silent. There are a few more tears escaping Kakashi’s eyes but he turns away to hide them from the Uchiha. Obito stays with him, hoping he can make up by at least offering his embrace. </p><p> </p><p>He has to ask. He has said it before but he needs to form it as a question because he needs to hear an answer.</p><p>“Why do you cry for someone like me?” </p><p>Surely Kakashi has to understand everything he’s implying through those words. The way his eyes slowly close and his mouth drops in a frown indicate he gets the meaning of Obito’s words.</p><p>“As much as you think you don’t deserve it,” he begins slowly, taking a deep breath to control his voice, “I can see now that you don’t hate me.”</p><p>Obito draws his eyebrows close. He hasn’t felt even an ounce of hatred towards Kakashi ever since the war. When he thinks about it, he never did, only spewed out meaningless words in the heat of the battle. He’s hidden a lot of emotions behind the word of hate, after all. </p><p>The Hatake continues. He opens the grey eyes and Obito’s gaze focuses on the dark orbs, especially the one framed by a single vertical scar. </p><p>“It hurts to hear that you think so lowly of yourself. How can you say you’re not worth crying for…?”</p><p>“Haven’t you cried enough for me already?” Obito breaks their eye contact. Asking the question is dangerous and may prompt certain words that won’t be possible to be taken back. </p><p>He suspects Kakashi’s answer but still waits for it. One, two beats of the heart later, Kakashi speaks.</p><p>“I can’t stop, Obito. I love you.”</p><p>The silence that falls between them is too heavy for him. It fills his lungs, tightens his throat, clouds his mind. He’s known it for years. But Kakashi has never said it to him directly. </p><p>Obito takes his arm off the Hatake and moves aside on the bed. He needs to ground himself and he settles both feet on the floor. His hands hang loosely between his legs, creasing the robe. It’s difficult to even sigh. The sudden tension in the air can be cut in with a knife, it’s so thick.</p><p>He accepted Kakashi’s feelings long ago. They’re not the issue, not entirely at least. It’s Obito’s own that are the problem. The confession that rolls off Kakashi’s tongue doesn’t even feel like one, it’s more like stating a fact. Just a simple fact both of them have known very well already. </p><p>The Uchiha can feel the other’s gaze on his back, drilling into him. “Obito…?” His voice is full of hesitation and Obito thinks he can feel Kakashi’s fingers lightly graze his hair. But he retracts, too afraid to touch him. </p><p>Obito can’t say it back. The words won’t leave his mouth and the left part of his chest aches in the spot where his heart should be. He can only think how foolish he is and how much more Kakashi deserves. He can’t even say a single stupid word back to satisfy his needs.</p><p>But he wants to say something else. He’s not indifferent to his friend, after all. He cares. In a simple, laughable way, he cares for Kakashi. Even as a prisoner and a criminal just spending his days waiting for the final judgement, all he does is think about Kakashi. He observes him and wants to make his life better. </p><p>He can’t just say he loves him. </p><p>Obito wants to see Kakashi smile. He doesn’t want to make Kakashi cry. He’s trying for Kakashi every single day. All the disappointment and regret he feels, he locks it away and finally looks back at the Hatake. </p><p>If no one else cares about Kakashi feeling overwhelmed with his life, with the Hokage duties and keeping the peace in the village, then Obito will at least make sure he rests well. </p><p>The corners of his mouth rise just a tiny bit in a rather pathetic smile that’s meant to look empathic.</p><p>“Well then… You don’t have to sleep alone anymore. There’s really no need for those tears, I’ll watch over you.”</p><p>Kakashi has been giving him an anxious look but as soon as he hears the promise, his eyes light up. The sad expression doesn’t leave his face yet but there’s hope in there now. Obito tries to soften his gaze and he reaches for Kakashi’s cheek. He strokes the skin gently with his thumb.</p><p>“Would you like that, Kakashi?” He asks quietly. The answer seems obvious enough.</p><p>“I think… I would.”</p><p>The lack of response to his confession is forgotten as Kakashi rests his head in Obito’s lap and the Uchiha plays with the silver locks until the Hatake’s breath slows down and his mind drifts away.</p><p>Obito huffs with a smile. He can treat it as a part of his sentence. Someone has to watch over the Hokage’s emotional state. How befitting of him, as the prisoner directly under the Sixth’s supervision.</p><p> </p><p>“Be honest with your feelings.”</p><p>Kakashi gives him a bewildered look when it’s another evening they spend together in the Hokage’s bedroom. He’s been resting his head on Obito’s shoulder but after hearing such words he straightens his back to look directly into the Uchiha’s eyes.</p><p>“Just be honest with me. Here. It’s just the two of us,” Obito clarifies. “I know you keep a lot from everyone else. You’re still keeping some of it from me. Trust me, Kakashi.”</p><p>Anyone else would most likely laugh into Obito’s face, for a murderer to ask about trust. But the Hatake isn’t just anyone. He’s the only person who will not make fun of his suggestion, in fact. </p><p>“I don’t want to burden you with… Everything,” Kakashi sighs as his eyes wander.</p><p>Obito shakes his head in disbelief. It’s a lot of work with his friend but he has a lot of time, too. </p><p>“Kakashi, I know it all. I just want you to say it out loud. You’ve been keeping it bottled up for long enough.”</p><p>Even if it’s some kind of a burden, the Uchiha will carry it on his shoulders. He’ll take at least some of the Hatake’s weight as the sentence. It’s not fair that the hero should be the one suffering the most. Obito is the prisoner here, not Kakashi.</p><p>“Where do I even begin?” His shoulders sag as he asks.</p><p>“Tell me about the flowers, then. The ones you would always bring to Rin’s grave.” </p><p>Obito feels his mouth go dry as he prompts the topic. He remembers how he’d throw away the flowers neatly tucked into a vase in anger. Kakashi would always bring them back. He never understood what drove him to do so exactly and now would be a good chance to find out.</p><p>The Hatake’s breaths are shaky as he prepares to speak. Obito sees it in his eyes how they keep shifting, either to recall the memories or to come up with excuses. He brushes his fingers over Kakashi’s hand, contemplating holding it to show his support. But before he can entwine their digits, Kakashi finally speaks up.</p><p>“It was always lilies. I wanted something pure and innocent, something that would say sorry. I knew stupid flowers could never be a good apology, anyway. But… she was pretty. She deserved something pretty, too.”</p><p>Obito finds himself nodding. He did spend years being infatuated with her, after all. Those feelings are distant now and muted by new ones that he doesn’t name just yet. Being in Kakashi’s presence is enough to understand just what they are.</p><p>“I would bring them to my father’s grave too. I guess I wanted to apologise to him, too… It took me too long to understand his choices.” Kakashi’s voice is shaky but he continues. “It was the least I could do to honour his name. Not many people wanted to do that in the village, after all.”</p><p>The Uchiha can’t comment on that. Truth be told, he’s disregarded Hatake Sakumo’s existence past Rin’s death. He didn’t cast a single glance at the grave despite visiting Konoha’s graveyard so often. But he knows Kakashi can’t be as indifferent. Especially not after what Obito told him back when they were children.</p><p>“You know, the flowers I left for Rin… Every time I visited with new ones, they’d be thrown away.”</p><p>Obito bites on his tongue. He remembers it all too well. There were times he felt so frustrated he would almost use Katon jutsu just to make them disappear.</p><p>“I thought that maybe… it was her family. That they never forgave me and wouldn’t accept flowers gifted by me.” Kakashi lets out a humourless chuckle. “I could never bring myself to properly talk to them. The sight of the stomped flowers was enough. I understood when I wasn’t wanted.”</p><p>Silence falls between them and Obito uses it to mull over Kakashi’s words. All this time he didn’t know that it was the Uchiha who kept throwing the lilies away. He’s not sure he should correct him now. Obito has so many offences to his name, one more wouldn’t change anything to others. But it just might change something to Kakashi. And so he keeps quiet.</p><p>The Hatake rests his head on Obito’s shoulders again. The Uchiha gently rubs his back with one hand. Neither of them can get comfortable, Obito feels Kakashi isn’t done talking just yet. He knows there’s more to the topic, he’s seen it so many times after all.</p><p>When Kakashi picks up, he can’t see his eyes anymore. </p><p>“I could never choose whether I should buy a different kind for you. But then again, I kept apologising at the Stone so often I knew lilies would suit you. Everyone who’s ever worked in the flower shop knew they had to ready a bouquet at least once a week”</p><p>Obito’s hand stops moving on Kakashi’s back but he keeps going.</p><p>“I just wanted to make up for everything. It became a thing, I suppose. Every time I’d bring them, I’d want to atone for all the harsh words I’d said as a child. Because I was too stupid to say what I really meant, too much of an idiot to say what I felt.”</p><p>“You’re not an idiot,” Obito croaks out. He doesn’t follow up, not wanting to interrupt Kakashi’s story anymore. Perhaps Kakashi responds with a sad smile but all the Uchiha can see is his silver hair.</p><p>“I never let them wilt. Whenever I saw some of the petals fall or turn brown, I’d take them away and replace the flowers with new ones. People eventually started recognising the lilies as mine. I think after just two months no one asked anymore. They all knew who I brought them for.”</p><p>Obito raises an eyebrow. He’s always thought Kakashi kept mostly to himself after Rin’s death. That he didn’t interact with people. But a lot of the shinobi their age were quite social and wouldn’t leave him alone, he guessed. </p><p>“You know…” The Hatake looks at his right hand. Obito tries to understand if he sees the hand of a killer or the hand of a friend. “... One year after Rin died, I told myself I’d eventually stop.”</p><p>As if prompted by his own words, Kakashi pauses. His eyes are fixed on the hand that was once stained with blood. He slowly closes it into a fist and Obito feels obliged to calm him somehow. So he finally touches the hand again and lets his fingertips linger on the other’s skin. He moves them ever so gently, only tickling Kakashi, asking him silently to finish his thought.</p><p>“Stop what?” He adds a question to his gestures. But as soon as he asks it, he knows just how stupid it is. The answer is obvious.</p><p>“I told myself I’d eventually get over you.” </p><p>The sentence knocks the wind out of his lungs. Obito’s gaze is still directed at Kakashi but he’s not looking at him anymore. It’s something he has never heard from him. But he had only himself to blame for drowning in that hate and hearing only the apologies and confessions he wouldn’t believe. Or maybe, a part of him didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that Kakashi would ever make the effort to forget about his feelings.</p><p>“When I looked at the wilted lilies in my hand once, I thought that maybe I could let them all die, accept it and move on,” Kakashi continues. “I stopped tending to them, knowing that without my constant attention, they’d die faster.”</p><p>They both know he’s failed in doing so. It’s only a matter of time before the Hatake speaks up again. The pauses are either for him to keep his composure - he’s somehow good at it tonight - or for Obito to take it all in.</p><p>“I kept bringing fresh ones. I couldn’t stop replacing the flowers that were wilting. And it hurt. It hurt because I understood perfectly why I kept doing it. I just could never let them wilt after making such a promise.”</p><p>Kakashi tilts his head slightly and Obito can see one of his eyes now. It’s almost closed, looking off into the distance. It’s not glistening with tears as usual and the Uchiha takes it as a good sign. They’re scratching the old wounds, after all.</p><p>“I’ve broken a lot of promises in my life and yet the one I made solely for myself, I couldn’t break. I knew I would never let go of those feelings.”</p><p>Kakashi opens his hand and welcomes Obito’s fingers into his hold. He focuses his eyes on them and lets out a huff that the Uchiha judges as a sign of a smile. His heart clenches at the thought he could finally succeed at easing off some of Kakashi’s burdens. </p><p>The Hatake looks at Obito and their eyes meet in a way that catches him off guard. Obito almost shakes his head to come back to the confines of the bedroom. His mind has wandered off too much to the now seemingly distant graveyard, to the thousands of flowers that once honoured three names.</p><p>“Did you notice the bouquet of lilies in the vase on the corridor…?”</p><p>The Uchiha nearly barks out a laugh. It’s hard to miss, they’re always arranged a bit differently every day and release a faint, though sickly sweet scent. </p><p>“So that’s it, then?” He answers the question with a question. Kakashi has confessed to his feelings after the war, there was no need to keep it up with the flowers.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I can’t let go.”</p><p>It’s a better answer to the questions from a few days before. It doesn’t change anything, though. All Obito can do is hope he can stop the bleeding in Kakashi’s heart. He doesn’t trust his own efforts, however.</p><p>He lifts the hand off Kakashi’s back to his head and pulls it tighter to his body, to his chest. He leans down until his nose is buried in the silver hair and for a second contemplates leaving a kiss. </p><p>“You should get fake flowers, they don’t wilt,” he ends up with just a joke to ease up the tension. But he feels the Hatake clench his hand.</p><p>“But my love isn’t fake. And so can’t be the flowers.”</p><p>“Bakakashi… Wasting your money like that.”</p><p>Obito shuts his eyes and feels the familiar pain in his chest once again. Kakashi is still doing too much for him, when he gets so little in return. For someone who’s accused the world of being cruel, the Uchiha knows he’s the one being unfair now. Nothing he says will ever be good enough, he thinks. He’s never been good with apologies, though. </p><p>When he speaks, he knows he’s not kidding. It’s a simple wish that may just benefit them both.</p><p>“If you want these flowers to be for me, then just give them to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Kakashi’s late again the next day. Everything seemed to be normal in the morning so Obito waits in the kitchen, occasionally glancing at the clock. Its ticking is slowly driving him crazy and he feels he might go ballistic with each sound the moving hands make. He keeps going over the things that have been said the night before. Kakashi’s not afraid to be vulnerable in front of him. Obito can hurt him with a single wrong word. </p><p>He doesn’t want to. </p><p>For the past few days, Kakashi has always been coming home in the afternoon, after finishing up all the planned duties for the day. It irks Obito that he's suddenly staying in late again. Thoughts about how it’s most likely his fault resurface in his mind and the hand that has been resting on the tabletop tightens into a fist in frustration.</p><p>In order to calm such thoughts, he focuses on the good things from last night. On the softness of Kakashi’s hair. On the wistful gaze. On the warmth of his skin and their fingers entwined. </p><p>Obito’s lips almost form a smile. Such gentle touches and gestures are reserved for lovers. He knows such title isn’t for them. The Uchiha doesn’t dare to dream of them being together and swallows down the fuzzy feeling in his chest. His presence alone damages Kakashi’s reputation. He knows of his feelings so perfectly well and yet still chooses not to imagine such a relationship. </p><p>A knocking on the door drags him out of the depths of his mind. Obito slowly rises from the chair and wonders just who would come to the Hokage Mansion unannounced. Should anyone have any matters they wish to discuss with the Sixth, they’d direct their steps towards the Hokage Tower. Obito’s heart sinks at the thought of the stranger coming to him instead.</p><p>Not everyone in the village is informed of his current whereabouts. But all the most important figures, and everyone in ANBU, are. For a brief moment, the idea of the Uchiha’s execution flashes through his mind. They wouldn’t dare, though. Not without Kakashi’s knowledge and permission.</p><p>He walks towards the door but hesitates to reach for the handle. Back in the prison, no one bothered with him. He was nonexistent to everyone, even the guards. Only Kakashi would care about him. So then, who…</p><p>“Obito, it’s me. Can you open the door, please?” </p><p>Kakashi’s voice sends a wave of relief over him. Obito sighs, scolding himself for such foolish thoughts. Of course, Kakashi would come back eventually. Of course, it’s just him. The Uchiha opens the door without any further distractions from his mind.</p><p>The first thing his eyes fall on is… flowers. Carnations and chrysanthemums, although the white lilies are there as well. They all look so delicate, the colours faint and barely there. Should he not know better, Obito could miss Kakashi’s hair for more flowers with how he’s holding the bouquet up. </p><p>“I’m sorry I took so long.” It’s not surprising that apology is the first thing that leaves Kakashi’s mouth. Obito barely stops a scowl. “I think I wanted to convey too much through these and Ino ended up changing the order completely saying too many flowers wouldn’t look good.”</p><p>“It’s more than usual. You won’t fit them all in the vase,” Obito comments like it’s a usual thing for the Hatake to do. He’s afraid of being wrong. </p><p>“Obito.” </p><p>Kakashi lowers the flowers and looks him right in the eyes. Something churns in Obito’s stomach and he almost breaks the eye contact. He knows just why Kakashi’s bought these.</p><p>“These are for you.” </p><p>The Hatake takes one step closer, into the house. Obito takes half of a step back. He doesn’t reach for the flowers just yet. He can’t see Kakashi’s expression fully, because, with the front door open, the other doesn’t pull down the mask yet. But he can see the outline of a half-open mouth and the beginning of a frown.</p><p>“For me.” Obito studies the flowers. It took Kakashi almost two hours to come home with them. He’s put so much effort into picking them just for him. </p><p>“Isn’t it what you wanted?” The Hatake sounds slightly resigned. “Or did I overdo it?”</p><p>Obito recalls the words from the night before and now he can’t deny it any longer. It’s his words that seemed to prompt Kakashi to do this. To buy more flowers than usual in a form of expressing his feelings and to gift them to the Uchiha instead of putting them quietly into the vase.</p><p>“No, it’s…” Obito struggles with finding the right words. He feels like whatever he says will be wrong and will only hurt Kakashi’s feelings that he’s laying bare for him. And so he doesn’t finish the sentence and finally reaches for the flowers. His hands brush against Kakashi’s as he takes the bouquet into his hold.</p><p>The flowers’ scent reaches his nose. It’s delicate and sweet. The usual smell of lilies and chrysanthemums mixes with the fresh one of cut leaves and stalks. To chase Kakashi’s doubts away, Obito smiles fondly. He truly can’t keep pretending it’s not making him happy.</p><p>“They’re very pretty,” he says quietly. His voice rasps and he has to swallow down the nervousness building up. “Thank you.”</p><p>“I love you, Obito.” </p><p>Kakashi says it as he’s still standing in the doorway. His gaze is focused on the Uchiha, unwavering. As he takes shallow breaths, Obito can see his bottom lip trembling a bit, however. Obito takes one glance at the flowers again and looks at Kakashi. His smile deepens.</p><p>“Come,” he says as he holds one hand out to his friend. When Kakashi takes it, Obito leads him back outside. They take a turn and walk off the stone path in front of the mansion. The Uchiha directs their steps around the building to the garden hidden behind it. Most of the time they enter the area through the backdoor. </p><p>The air feels different in the garden. Willows and oak trees shield the lush green grass from the eyes of the village. It’s cooler here, the breeze that gently rustles the leaves feels pleasant on the skin. Several wild field flowers grow here and there, the colourful petals of daisies, poppies and cornflowers peek out among the grass blades. Neither the Fifth nor Sixth Hokage has tended to the garden and yet it still looks peaceful, relaxing and not too overgrown.</p><p>Obito lets go of Kakashi’s hand and the Hatake looks at him with lost eyes. He feels out of place in the Hokage Mansion and seems to have never taken a liking to visiting the small relaxing area among the trees. The Uchiha’s eyes crease as his smile now spreads all over his face. He wonders when’s the last time he’s looked at someone with such a gentle manner and truly felt happy.</p><p>He crouches down and sets the flowers on the ground. It’s been over a year since he’s formed any sort of hand signs but a shinobi never forgets. One after another, he weaves the signs of Mokuton with precision and care. When he finishes, he sets one hand on the flowers to activate the technique. The cut stems sprout back to life, growing roots that immediately seek the ground. One by one, the flowers raise up and the bouquet looks just like it would in a vase, the flowers facing the Sun.</p><p>“They won’t wilt now.” Obito raises too and looks back at Kakashi who’s giving him a bewildered look. “They’ll keep growing without you watering them with your tears, okay?”</p><p>The Hatake chokes on his own breath and even with the small distance between them, Obito can tell his heart is beating faster. The Uchiha sighs softly and looks for a sign of anguish in his eyes. They’re not glistening with tears yet and it calms him down. He really doesn’t want to see or hear Kakashi cry again. </p><p>“You know…” Obito looks at his hand. “This is the first time I’ve used any kind of a Jutsu since the war.” </p><p>Kakashi dares to step closer and he’s studying the flowers as if they’re about to grow into trees or humanoid creatures or whatever other monstrosities the technique of the First is supposed to be able to create. But the white and beige heads just sway in the wind and the petals flutter delicately. They’re exactly the same as they were just a moment ago. </p><p>“But… why?” Kakashi asks in disbelief. Obito can tell he’s been too focused on his own emotions. Or perhaps he’s shared the sentiment of remaining blind to the other’s feelings. </p><p>The Uchiha takes his hand once more. He gives it a gentle squeeze and carefully slides each finger between Kakashi’s. When all of their digits are entwined, he takes a good look at the other. Not like before, when he just focused on one aspect of his appearance. Obito takes his time taking in every part of Kakashi’s expression and posture.</p><p>The confused face, the curious eyes, the parted lips, the fluttering hair, the barely blushing cheeks… Obito knows now. </p><p>It’s not the same as it was with Rin. No, it’s not a silly infatuation of a child. It’s not something that blinds his judgement and leads to bad choices. It’s not a calculated and cold feeling either, meant only to advance his goals. It’s something he hasn’t experienced before and perhaps it’s the main reason he’s avoided naming it for so long. </p><p>He’s left Kakashi waiting for an answer to his question for too long. He brushes his thumb over the top of his hand.</p><p>“I’ll make sure they don’t wilt, too.” </p><p>It’s not a perfect confession but he hopes the Hatake will understand. They stand in silence, just watching one another. Obito knows the smile won’t leave his face as he looks at Kakashi with half-lidded eyes. Sometimes he huffs quietly, wondering how it’s possible they’ve come so far. How it’s possible for him to find such happiness after everything he’s done.</p><p>Kakashi shuffles his feet in uneasiness. The Uchiha can read it from his tensed up shoulders, there are doubts still clouding his mind. So he just waits for another question. It’s something he doesn’t expect, not at this point.</p><p>“Do… Do you love me?”</p><p>Obito lets out a chuckle and notices the shift in Kakashi’s expression. To ease the anxiety, he reaches down to pluck one of the flowers from the bouquet. It’s a lily and the Uchiha twirls it in his fingers before tucking it into Kakashi’s hair, right behind his ear. It suits him.</p><p>“Is that a real question?” He answers with a question on his own between his giggles. </p><p>“What?” Kakashi tilts his head and looks at Obito’s hand retracting from his hair. </p><p>The Uchiha shakes his head. Seems like he needs to confess with proper words, after all. </p><p>“Kakashi,” he starts off slowly, getting his full attention. “Would I cradle you to sleep every night, if I didn’t love you? Would I ask you to speak about your heartaches, if I didn’t love you?”</p><p>He releases the hold on Kakashi and cups his face with both of his hands. They’re outside, so he doesn’t pull down the mask even though it’s tempting. He respects the Hatake’s choices and a part of him is glad Kakashi won’t show his face to everyone. He continues his explanation.</p><p>“Would I wait for you every day till late hours until you come home if I didn’t love you? Would I say here, abandon all my jutsu and techniques and just be there for you, serving my sentence by your side and rediscovering how to live, if I didn’t love you?”</p><p>Obito leans so closely now, their foreheads touch. He finally sees a spark of hope in Kakashi’s eyes. He slowly moves his thumbs over the black fabric, caressing him. Seems that his words are sinking in.</p><p>“I still think I’m undeserving of all that mercy and love from you…” He sighs so softly, his breath tickles the part of Kakashi’s face hidden behind the mask. “But the least I can do is give back as much as I can, hoping that a sinner like me is allowed to love, too.”</p><p>The Hatake’s eyes are so lost, taking in the confession. Kakashi doesn’t say anything but Obito knows he might need more time than just that one moment they’re lost in. </p><p>He hooks one finger on the mask. The Uchiha looks into the Hatake’s eyes, looking for permission. It’s there, it’s a tiny nod conveyed through his closing eyes. Obito pulls on the fabric until it reveals the soft lips, the beauty mark on the right side of his face, the cheeks tinted red. </p><p>It takes them one, maybe two breaths before the Uchiha puts his lips on Kakashi’s. And it’s the sweetest feeling in the world. Obito’s pretty sure the smile on his face will become permanent at this point. It feels so liberating to finally accept and acknowledge his feelings. </p><p>The thought of Kakashi still doubting it briefly passes him by and Obito moves one hand to the back of the other’s neck before pulling away from the kiss. </p><p>“I do love you, Kakashi.” It’s the most confident he’s felt in the past year. No other words rolled off his tongue so easily. So he doesn’t give him much of a reprieve before crashing their mouths together and tilting his head to kiss him deeper than before.</p><p>When he feels the Hatake’s hands rest on him, he knows it’s okay now. They both need it. They both taste the happiness and freedom they couldn’t find their entire lives. And it’s the sweetest feeling in the world. </p><p> </p><p>Obito forgets to count the days now. He’s sure it’s been over a week since his confession but now that he eagerly awaits Kakashi’s return home every single day, they start to blend in. There’s nothing he needs to count down for, aside from the number of hours he misses the Hatake’s presence by his side on a daily basis.</p><p>Every evening they enjoy one another’s touch as they lie in Kakashi’s bed, limbs all tangled with one another. The embrace doesn’t have to be orderly, they take full comfort in each other’s warmth. </p><p>It’s just like that one night, when Obito has his arms around Kakashi’s chest, with his face buried in the silver hair. They both wear simple bedrobes, the thin fabric barely separating their skin from each other.</p><p>The Hatake stirs and turns his head, wanting to find Obito’s lips with his own. The Uchiha gives him a lazy smile and kisses him. When Kakashi’s hand brushes through his hair, he sighs. Kakashi’s fingers always feel so gentle and caress his snow-white hair so nicely.</p><p>Obito props himself up on his arms after a while and looks at his lover with half-lidded eyes. Kakashi looks at him with curiosity in return and his hand rests on his cheek. </p><p>“Hey. What’s on your mind?”</p><p>The Uchiha wonders how he should put it. They haven’t gone past the kissing since the mutual confession, even if their mouth on mouth moments get heated sometimes. He doesn’t feel hungry lust at the moment, however. The look he regards Kakashi with is more of a careful one, that studies his frame. </p><p>Being the Hokage is exhausting Kakashi sometimes. Obito just wants to make it up to him somehow. Or reward him because he knows the amount of work he puts into his duties shouldn’t go unnoticed.</p><p>“Just how beautiful you are.” </p><p>He dives in to kiss him but one of his hands land on the robe, delicately tugging on the hem. He tests the grounds, wondering if Kakashi will allow him. When there’s no resistance, just a hum of approval, the Uchiha slowly exposes his chest. </p><p>Obito does admire his lover and he wants Kakashi to fully know it. His mouth leaves the Hatake’s lips and he leaves a trail of kisses on the pale skin. On his cheek, jawline, down the neck all the way to the collarbones. When he stops for a second to take a look into Kakashi’s eyes, he sees them staring back and silently asking for more. </p><p>Once he takes one of the nipples into his mouth, Kakashi gasps and his hands tangle into the bedsheets. </p><p>“Obito,” he breathes the name like a plea but doesn’t say what he needs. Obito knows he can continue. </p><p>He flicks his tongue against the bud as he’s done teasing it and leaves more kisses on the chest and stomach. He shifts in the bed and pulls Kakashi’s robe completely undone as he settles between his legs. Obito’s last kiss is below the belly button, he then takes a look at Kakashi’s cock. It twitches under his gaze and the Uchiha’s mouth forms a smile. </p><p>He takes it into his hand and licks a stripe along the entire shaft and the Hatake’s breath hitches at the touch on his most sensitive part. </p><p>“Can I make you feel good?” Obito murmurs as he glances at Kakashi’s face. His lover nods in response so he starts moving his hand up and down the length. </p><p>It doesn’t take long for Kakashi’s member to become hard in his hold, especially with the assistance of his tongue. The more he licks in, the better it feels to tease him with the fingers. The Hatake moans softly and his legs tremble with pleasure. But at some point, he tangles one hand into Obito’s hair and urges him to stop.</p><p>“Wa-wait,” he’s gasping as arousal has already settled in his entire body. “I want you… To feel good too.”</p><p>Obito lifts his head and raises an eyebrow in curiosity. Kakashi’s face is flushed and needy but he seems honest with his intentions. He releases the hold on the Uchiha’s hair and spreads his legs wider.</p><p>“I want you inside me.” </p><p>Obito’s eyes darken but he keeps control on his lust. As much as he wants to claim Kakashi’s body all for himself, he wants to ensure the Hatake feels loved and safe with him. He takes it slow for now, hoping their relationships blossoms even further in the future so there are no inhibitions between them left. </p><p>Kakashi shows Obito the bottle of a lubricant he’s kept unused under the bed and the Uchiha pours a generous amount of the liquid on his fingers before tracing them over his lover’s hole. He makes sure Kakashi’s ready when he pushes one digit in. </p><p>Kakashi whines as the fingers penetrate him and help him loosen up. Obito’s slow and watches his face carefully for any hints of pain or discomfort. But the Hatake only begs for more, already melting under the touch. </p><p>After Obito retracts three fingers from him, he takes Kakashi’s leg and hooks it over his shoulder. He presses a kiss against the thigh and grabs his own cock to position himself at the other’s entrance.</p><p>“Are you ready? I’ll put it in now.”</p><p>“Yes, please,” Kakashi voice sounds out of it already, his body burning with desire and pleasure. He arches his back as Obito enters him and mewls and looks for something to hold on. The Uchiha leans closer so Kakashi’s hands can rest on his body. </p><p>When Obito starts moving, he can feel he’s too slow. The Hatake clenches down on him and asks for more by trying to move his hips. But the Uchiha’s too afraid of thrusting into him too hard, he doesn’t want the night to be about some primal urges. He wants to convey his feelings and so he voices them.</p><p>“I love you, Kakashi,” he groans as he eventually picks up the pace and looks for approval from the other. </p><p>“I love you too, Obito,” is the response he gets as Kakashi presses his head into the pillow harder with a moan when he feels Obito hit his sweet spot. </p><p>The bedroom is soon filled with the heavy breaths, moans and grunts consisting of each other’s names, and the skin hitting skin. At some point, they kiss again, struggling for air as they get lost in the taste of one another’s lips and tongue.</p><p>Just pleasure takes over them and Obito thinks it’s the best he’s ever felt his entire life, feeling Kakashi under him, around him, sharing the heat and passion. It fills him entirely, warms him to the core and he knows he wants to never let go of it, never let go of Kakashi.</p><p>They reach their limit at almost the same time, Kakashi spilling over his own chest and painting Obito’s while the Uchiha fills him with his seed. They need some time to calm down, both of their chests jumping up and down with heavy breaths as they come down from the high. </p><p>Obito collapses on the bed next to Kakashi once he pulls out and immediately pulls him into an embrace. He can’t get enough of him. The Hatake welcomes the touch and returns the hug.</p><p>“Promise you’ll stay with me,” Obito says but he knows Kakashi wants it too.</p><p>“I’m not the one with space-time Jutsu that can make me disappear from this dimension anytime,” Kakashi replies with a soft chuckle and he pets the hair on the nape of Obito’s neck.</p><p>“And I’ve told you already, I have no reason to use Kamui. I’ve got everything I want right here.”</p><p>They’re smiling as they kiss once more, this time slowly, wishing each other goodnight. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry my writing process has slowed down so much. There was a lot going on in my life lately.<br/>I have a lot of more obkk fics planned so I hope I can write them all in the future!</p><p>Kudos and comments are always appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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